If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
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I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
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Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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