ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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