I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
