I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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