Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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