Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
