i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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