Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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