im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
