she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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