What did we do last night that was yellow?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
