Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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