I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize