I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
