we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
