I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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