Christians are straight up FREAKS
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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