we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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