He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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