I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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