:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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