Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
