i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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