Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
