I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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