I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
