you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
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I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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