i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
