he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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