what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My pussy is not your playground.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
