Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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