508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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