My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
