So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
