Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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