cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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