OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
