Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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