she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think my moral compass just broke
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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