the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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