i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
