Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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