no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
