The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
