i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
