You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
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You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
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I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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