I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
