My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
