I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You need a sexual gate keeper
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
