'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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