We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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