I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
