so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
