I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
