im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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