Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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