This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
