So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
